Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Single-digit countdown!

There are 9 (ish) days until I get married.

Stop. Pause. Reflect.
Giggle, squint eyes at wedding countdown reminder, giggle, scream.


I don't even know what else to say. I'm getting married, to my best friend, NEXT WEEK. The dress is being altered, the welcome bags are lined up in the guest room and the place cards are in a neat pile in alphabetical order. The first song is picked out, the wedding night hotel room is reserved and yes, the butterflies are most definitely starting to build.

I've been sort of numb for weeks, then excited for weeks, in this crazy up-and-down cycle that really seemed to depend on how busy I was at the moment.

I'm really beyond ready to just get to THE day and be a Mrs. already, but a small part of me is sad to say goodbye to the words 'engaged' and 'fiancee' already. Those words that I'll never have a part of my personal life again. Cheesy, yes, but still an important time that I hope I always appreciate and cherish.

I've gotten closer to friends and family, especially my AMAZING bridesmaids who have each supported me in different ways these past nine months, whether through humor, advice, bridal magazine subscriptions or my lovely bridal showers.

I'll be celebrating with my half-sister and half-brother on Sept. 26 -- two people with my blood and my (not for much longer!) last name. I may not have taken initiative at getting them back in my life again without me and Scott gettin' hitched.

I've also learned to accept and love my mother, her demons and even her passing these past few months. The dress shopping was hard and I know the empty seat at the church will be even harder, but I really feel as though she's with me now.

And then there's Scott.
I'm such an emotional mystery right now that I find myself tearing up just by typing his name. It's so silly. I love and appreciate him so much right now. I have become a better person, a better me, throughout our 3+ years together, but more so during these months of having a new home, adopting an abused dog, handling chores and bills, getting engaged and planning for our wedding. It takes more to get me unreasonably angry and I'm better, er, getting better at keeping my temper in check.

He is my rock.
He is my best friend.
I truly believe he is my soulmate.

And in a few days, he will be my husband.

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