I've selfishly, immaturely only been thinking of myself the past couple of days... thinking I had it worse than most because I didn't have a mom to buy flowers for this Mother's Day. Hating yet again the fact that she gets no say -- not even a tearful nod or a crinkled nose -- when it comes to my wedding dress. Hating the entire month of May because it means nothing but loss to me.
Then, as if the stars aligned in just the right way to wake me up out of my wallowing, self-pity dream, I found out that Tuesday is more than just a day of the week.
And I thought yet again about beautiful, smiley Maddie and the impact she has had on millions of people in the past month.
And these well-said words of wisdom explained it better than I ever could.
This is just one of many days that are hard for hundreds of thousands of people out there. A loss is something that can't just be filled in with new memories or a pile of concrete. You can't un-break a heart anymore than you can un-crack an old sidewalk or make the rain clouds disappear.
I pray that Maddie's mom reflects on the 17 months she had with her beautiful daughter. And the impact her story has had on so many of us.
I hope that the family of little Eli realizes he is finally without pain, playing on clouds and doing what little boys are meant to do, not what a terrible disease dictates their worn-out bodies to do.
I beg the stars to give me strength to remember only a beautiful blonde with a soft voice and contagious laugh, who braided hair better than anyone else in the whole messed-up world that takes mommies and babies and all the in-betweens away before we're done kissing them.
I blow a kiss to the heavens.
Happy Mother's Day.
Your Baby Girl.