Find an amazing friend and wonderful person who also happens to do a fabulous job with make-up, even if she is completely honest about your wrinkles, acne, translucent skin and possible mustache.
Find a hairstylist who constantly raves about your "beautiful hair."
Implore said stylist to make sense of your makes-no-sense requests for wedding day hairdos.
Combine them. Stir slightly, but only if enough hairspray to attract every bee in central Pennsylvania has been used. Also, fake eyelashes and 29 bobby pins are a plus.
And voila, you get this.
Oh, and this...