I just feel ridiculously old.
OK, faithful blog readers, I know I'm not old. But c'mon, surely you've had days where you feel 10 to 50 years older than your actual age.
I think there are a lot of factors into me feeling so qualified for social security.
First off, there's been the tiring struggle with the rebellious cats. We've been locking up our culprits as we catch them red-handed, er pawed, in our downstairs bathroom. They've all had a stay. We took Eva out this morning and she hasn't moved from our bed. She's exhausted. Her sister Clara joined Rocky in there this morning and the princess is none too happy. They meow incessantly from in there -- well, when they're not busy knocking down the toilet paper or tipping the garbage can over. I heard a loud crash a while ago and just couldn't face it yet. Not until another cup of coffee.
Yesterday, I went to the dreaded gyno. Sigh. If that doesn't make you feel old AND icky, well then, I need your doctor. Actually, I LOVE my doctor. She's a cool hippie midwife and she just doesn't BS me or beat around the bush.
When I left yesterday after a discussion about... stuff (top secret), she said, "Next time I see you, you'll be an old married woman... and hopefully pregnant, too!"
Now I would be a horrible liar if I said that talking about pre-family things wasn't a main reason for this visit. With all my past health issues, I wanted a clean bill of health in all areas. Hence, the nasty wisdom teeth surgery in April. As Ashley would say, my ovaries are ready to explode! BUT no, I'm not pregnant and I hope not to be until at least October. (We may live in sin, but we like to put up appearances, ya know?) It was just hearing her say that sentence and having my head dizzied with mcg's of folic acid, yadda yadda.
There is a lot of wine left in our house to drink.
Then, last night I covered a high school graduation for the paper. It made me realize that I graduated high school SEVEN years ago -- later this month, since Jersey makes their kids miss half of the summer. SEVEN years. Oh, the things I have done since being a member of Mount Olive High School's class of 2002. I think back then I thought and hoped I'd wind up where I am today, but college changed all of that. I'm pretty sure there's a lot of people who thought they would first see me in an insane asylum at this point in my life, not in a beautiful home with pets and an amazing fiance.
And I love where I am right now, don't get me wrong. It just feels like I'm on this cusp of two worlds -- the past and the real, REAL world of marriage and family. I feel like I'm just ready to crash through the gates and wave goodbye to the little insane Wendy.
I'm ready to feel even older, I guess.